My Best Friend
by Ruthiexx
Summary: After Terrorform the boyz admit something to them selves and to each other.


My Best Friend.

Rimmer was sat down in his safe haven aboard Red Dwarf and Starbug, he was crying behind a boiler tank in the engine room.  The boyz from the Dwarf had just escaped from the psi-moon that had terrorformed into the horrible reality that was Rimmer's very own mind.

"God? Why does this always happen to me? Why do you get a kick out of seeing me suffer? Didn't I suffer enough at the hands of my father and brothers? Why?"  Rimmer broke of into sobs all over again, just a few hours ago he was stuck in a rapidly sinking Starbug in the middle of a swamp on the godforsaken moon and Lister had quite obviously chosen to blame Rimmer for what he had 'put' them through by taken the smeg.

"He played with my smegging emotion, the smegging goity git!" Rimmer muttered as he finally stopped crying.  Lister had told him he loved him and in front of Kryten and the Cat, that had to mean something right?  Maybe he really did have a friend, a best friend who didn't mind his quirks and insecurities, who actually appreciated him for being Rimmer the failure.

What a smegging joke!

He'd actually believed it because Lister had looked at him in such a way after he had said those words, Rimmer had finally thought he had a home where he was meant to be, friends that meant something to him, he had a family.

Oh yes, friends that meant something to him, Rimmer didn't want to admit it to any of them but the odd crew that he lived with meant a lot to him.

The Cat; his style and self-centredness.  But if you overlooked his obsession with looking perfect, he was always willing to help another in the fashion department, and his sense of smell had pulled them out of trouble in the nick of time once or twice.

Kryten, well Kryten was good at a lot of things but you had to admire the mechanoid for being brave enough to hand wash anything that came out of Lister's dirty laundry basket!

And Lister, well Lister had become many things to Rimmer, his enemy, his roommate, his long time confidante, his long time crush and his best friend.  But apparently all of that was one-sided; Rimmer had gotten his hopes up when he should have stayed away, and alienated himself the way he used to, back before the rest of the crew were wiped out.

"They had said they loved me, they wouldn't leave me behind!" He whispered, trying not to let renewed tears fall. 
    
    "All that hugging stuff back there.  It was just a way of escaping, wasn't it?  It mean you didn't really feel that deep down I'm an Okay sort of bloke; I'm not such a bad old stick once you get to know me. You didn't really mean any of that, did you?"  Rimmer slammed his palm against the wall remembering the smirking faces of the crew.
    
    "Yes."  Rimmer jumped and whirled around to face the man who had whispered the single word so convincingly.  "Wh-what?"  Lister looked down at his hands, and then up again to meet the other man's eyes but couldn't.  "I meant it.  Look I'm sorry man, I just wanted to let you know...I meant it."  Lister came over and sat next to Rimmer on the crate, who was still shocked over his little outburst.
    
    "I was afraid man, afraid that if I told you, you'd laugh in my face, and then everyone would know how much of a smeghead I really am."  Lister was still looking at his hands, which were idly fiddling with a small piece of cloth, 
    
    "Listy what are you going on about?" Rimmer wished he could reach out, and still them but knew his hands would pass straight through them.
    
    "You're me best mate man, ya know more about me than Chen, Selby and Peterson ever did, ya know the real Dave smeghead Lister and I'm sorry I denied that."
    
    Rimmer finally caught sight of what the fabric was, as Lister's hands finally stopped fidgeting with it and just let the object rest in his palm.  It was Rimmer's name patch from his second technician uniform.  
    
    "You're my best friend too, the only proper one I've ever had, but I'm glad you are and that it is you."  Rimmer smiled at Lister and leaned back against the wall, he wished he could hug Lister like he had been hugged while aboard the moon but it didn't matter now, Rimmer finally knew the truth.

Lister looked at Rimmer pleased to see the hologram so happy and relaxed that he realised a weight had been lifted of his shoulders, he had finally told Rimmer how much he appreciated him.  Maybe one day he would be able to hug Rimmer like they had on the moon.  Maybe.


End file.
